Reflections

On September 11, 2001, I was at my desk at Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals in Ridgefield, CT. Had timing been different I would not have been there because I had already been told that my contract would be ending. I had already been there longer than company policy allowed and at one point was the only contracted human resources person remaining after others had been terminated. Placed on project work to install a new applicant tracking system, I had a unique opportunity to be part of putting my fingerprints all over a major shift in the technology of the staffing in the company, but that had been completed months ago. I was disposable contingent labor and they could hire someone for less money to do the day-to-day recruiting at R&D. I had been asked to stay on for another 30 days which suited my needs since I had been complacent about finding another client to hire me. I needed the time to find someplace to stay gainfully employed since my wedding was to be in a few months.

As the events of the morning unfolded, rumors that a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers began to float around the building. I found the CNN coverage on the internet and saw pictures of the smoldering, gaping hole in the building so we knew that this was not just a small plane accidentally falling out of the sky. Then the news arrived, first by telephone from a relative of a co-worker watching TV at home, that the second tower had been struck by another plane. Soon, the new pictures began to be added to the CNN coverage. More phone calls came in from employees families spreading the news and some additional rumors. The company internet slowed to a crawl and we had no cell phone signal in the building. Concern mounted as everyone thought about people they knew who worked at the World Trade Center. I thought about the job interview I had in the WTC only a few weeks earlier and also remembered to say a prayer of thanks that I was in a dead-end job instead of working in a new job where actual death could be happening.

The R&D building in Ridgefield has a large symposium room with state-of-the art technology. I had worked behind the scenes with techs there setting up seminars for PhD candidates who had to make a scientific presentation as part of their job interview process. I grabbed one of them in the hallway and asked how difficult it would be to show a live TV broadcast on the rear-projection screen. Within minutes the pictures and accounts from lower Manhattan were flashing larger than life on the huge screen from the built-in projection system. Word spread that this impromptu “meeting” was going on and soon the room was filled with people watching the screen in disbelief. As we watched, with the TV cameras focused on the antenna array on the top of one of the towers, the building began to crumble and one of the historic landmarks of the New York skyline disappeared into a cloud of dust. Audible gasps and sobbing were heard all around the room. I was moved beyond tears. I was numb. I was angry. I was ready to go to war.

For the families of those who were in the Twin Towers that day, life changed forever as loved ones never came home from work. The survivors who escaped will be marked forever by the events that are etched in their memory. For me it was more of an inconvenience in that several contract leads in New York went up in smoke along with the jobs of thousands of others. Some may call it fatalism or blind faith, but I have always believed that there is a grand plan for my life and that things happen for a reason. I was safe, but faith comes close to unbelief when others' life plans suddenly cease. Then I heard my Mom’s voice in my head repeating the message that is somehow unforgettable: Everything always works out for the best. It was then I decided that terrorists can take my life, but I WILL NOT LET THEM TAKE MY FAITH!